JACOB ZUMA OFFERS TO MARRY ZIM FIRST LADY GRACE MUGABE WHEN MUGABE DIES

It’s not all bad news for Jacob Zuma this week. Despite him about to face a string of corruption charges the 71 year old serial polygamist has offered to marry Zimbabwean First Lady Grace Mugabe if the 92 year old Robert Mugabe dies. Much to the surprise of close Mugabe confidants it is said that the nonagenarian statesman has agreed.

Sources say that in a close meeting that was held yesterday in Harare during Zuma’s state visit to Zimbabwe, Jacob Zuma whispered his offer into Mugabe’s ear and Robert Mugabe with a small grin later announced to everyone that he had accepted.

Sources close to Mugabe say that Mugabe is worried that his wife will not have as much protection as she enjoys right now should he die. As per Shona culture Grace is supposed to be taken by Mugabe’s Nephew, Zhuwao but rumors have been circulating that he is gay and is part of the infamous group of h_mosexual men in the Zimbabwean cabinet popularly known as “the gay gangsters”.

Zuma dancing with Grace Mugabe

Makhumalo the first wife of Zuma has apparently already “accepted” Grace Mugabe to be Jacob Zuma’s 7th Wife. “Msholozi is a s_ex fanatic, and if Grace comes she will be relieving us as well”, she said. There is also speculation that Grace is a good swimmer and she will be the only one of Zuma’s wives who will be able to make maximum use of the President’s Nkandla “firepool” which has been lying idle since it was built in 2014.

The news was received with happiness by the Zimbabwean population since they believe Grace’s recent public attacks and anger against Mugabe’s political opponents are a result of her s_exual frustrations.

Inside sources say that 92 year old Mugabe no longer has the stamina to keep Grace satisfied in bed. Grace has welcomed her husband’s decision and she recently announced that she looks forward to Msholozi’s charm . If married to Zuma, this is going to be Grace’s 3rd official Marriage.