The press conference was called after hundreds of thousands of idiots fell for yet another copy and paste chain letter which claimed Facebook was about to introduce a premium service which would require a monthly subscription.
The chain letter went on to state that anyone who didn’t sign up to this service would have all their photos sold to evil corporations who would use the images in adverts for haemorrhoid cream, Fianna Fáil posters, and hardcore pornography.
“And of course, the only way to prevent this is to post a status on Facebook saying that you don’t agree to these terms,” said Zuckerberg, who has just about had it with this shit by now.
“Do you people even read this crap before you copy and paste it? Or does it just punch your moron button hard enough to get a reaction? Honestly, do you think our legal team combs through the profiles of the billion or so Facebook users, looking to see did they post some garbage about whether or not you consent to the terms of some made-up bullshit? I despair sometimes, I really fuc king do”.
Zuckerberg went on to state that if he ever did decide to change the privacy policies of Facebook, “you people would never even know it had happened”, before an aide stepped up and took the mic away from him.